Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
