I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
