i barfeds in our rink
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
