I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
