from now on my penis is your penis
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
