ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize