He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
