I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
