took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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