Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
