Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
