You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
