im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
