I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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