you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
