Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
