I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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