I'm eating all of the evidence.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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