You work out of a Hotel?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
