I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
