you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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