My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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