I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
