My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
