I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
