I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
