is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
