went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
