Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
