So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
