I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
