Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
