Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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