watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
2020 sucks, I want a refund
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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