p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
