The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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