Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
