Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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