i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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