He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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