I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
