Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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