apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
