my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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