i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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