so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
