3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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