I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
