I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I AM VODKA MAN
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
