So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
