life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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