Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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