Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
