i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
