He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
