Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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