I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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