P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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